Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
