I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Text me some of your sweat
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
