If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
