I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
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