So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
