You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
