why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
