Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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