I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
