It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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