did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
