Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
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All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think people are normalizing furries
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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