I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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