she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize