i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
last night I used snow as a chaser
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