Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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