dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Randomize
