You just made me feel so damn special
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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