The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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