im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
