What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
love makes seman taste better
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
