whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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