Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
