Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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