Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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