bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
