Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
