Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she told me i tasted like america
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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