Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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