Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize