Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
