Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
