Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
