apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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