I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
