Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
