i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
