I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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