I got chris browned last night
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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