Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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