we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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