there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
