I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just had sex on a roof
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
