Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
