walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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