Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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