So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
