She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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