is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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