U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You don't make any sense
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