What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The power of my boobs compel you
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
