I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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