i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
