i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
wrigley field is MILF paradise
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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