sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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