We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
