It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize