I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
