So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i believe in u and ur pee
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
