Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
